A. Discuss these questions. Then read the article, and compare your ideas to the author’s.
- Look at the title of the article. What do you think it’s going to be about?
- Do you think parents should be strict with their children?
Upside – Down Families
The parents set the rules and the children obey, right? Wrong. In a growing number of North American families, adults have let their children take over. “Parents want to be nurturing and make their small children happy, but many have become confused about the best way to achieve this,” explains a noted child psychologist. “Large numbers of parents are being controlled by their child to the point that entire families end up organizing themselves around child’s emotions.”
The problem is that many mothers and fathers try to be a friend to their children. However, parenting is not a popularity contest. Challenging authority is a normal part of child development and is strongest between the ages of four and six. Setting rules and enforcing them teaches the child that he or she is equal in worth but not equal in authority. Then the child feels safe and secure and can be a kid again. Believe it or not, it’s frightening for children to realize they are in charge of a situation. In upside-down families, when parents back down from rules they set, children become very insecure, anxious, and out of control. They don’t trust their parents to protect them. Parents should follow these tips to avoid this situation and keep control.
· Be a leader. Parents cannot guide a child and seek his or her approval of their decisions at the same time. Don’t say, “It’s time for bed. OK?” Instead, say, “It’s time for bed, kids.”
· Don’t make rules quickly then change them. It’s very important to be consistent. Once you make a rule, stick to it.
· Pay less attention to your children when their behavior is bad and more when it is good. Do not reward bad behavior by giving extra attention to it. Instead, save your attention for when the child acts appropriately.
· Don’t allow your kids to call you by your first names. This removes the authority figure in a child’s life. Children need parents, not another friend.
B. Which of these statements would the author agree with? Which ones do you agree with?
1. Children don’t usually challenge authority.
2. Children like to feel that hey are in charge.
3. It’s important for parents to discipline children.
4. Parents should be leaders, not friends.
C. Group Work: Discuss these questions. Then share your answers with the class.
1. Do you think your parents were too strict? Why or why not?
2. Will you use the same rules in raising your children?
